Sunday 22 April 2012 @ 23:00 0 stares
I've been going with the thoughts that because i've kinda inactive that they already putted me away, or that ill have hard time fitting in their chit chat. Yesterday's party was actually really nice and i was really happy to see everyone again. Talking here and there, getting a bit updated and such. I made a lil deal with Rasmus that he'll see me off the bus... But there was problem with coming to a conclusion how to get home, and it was getting really late. I waited for him for really long, but i gave up waiting lol. Tried not to whine while he was having fun. So i decided to take the bus home, but found myself kinda lost in a unknown place. The bus drove away infront of me missing my stop even tho i was standing there. When i asked around for where to take the other bus i could get home with, people either dont know, or the bus driver that i asked got annoyed at me.. So i found the place to take the bus, but i was fed up.. I was already really really tired, wasnt feeling that well... It was dark and cold, i had not idea where i was, and i had hard time finding way home...
So when i was walking home from the bus stop to my own place, there was a guy about my age on the other side of the street. First there wasnt anything, i always walk this way home whenever i went to party, but today got abit later than usual... And my phone battery was dead because i called Hin when i was fed up and crying. Because of the dead phone i somehow felt more unsafe than normally. The guy suddenly shouted to me, asking me age and if i wanted to do something with him. While i refused he claimed that i was horny... He just kept on talking with me on the other side of the street. Then he suddenly walked over to my side of the street and walked beside me while talking "Why dont you wanna do some with me??!" "Because i have a boyfriend!" "No one will know! Is just between me and you!!"... and it just kept on going... Till i was at my own street i said bye and went. Luckily he didnt touch me or anything, but it wasnt a nice experience..
Basically it was a okay day, but i felt like so much happened and it was such a long day...
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Maybe im being emotional again today, im getting really tired of my boyfriends roommate. Im sick of all the excuses he can make with him included. Because he's chatting on the phone behind him, i cant hear my boyfriends voice. Because he's there he cant do this and that, which made him more cold and such. Im so tired of all the things we do have to circle around his roommate. After he went back to Sweden about a week ago, im not used to the emptiness in my love life at all. Im sick of having a boyfriend without feeling like having one. Since we're already in a distance theres already bunch of things we cant do and things we're lacking from a normal couple. But it feels like the lacking is getting bigger and bigger. Back then i could say "Is okay cuz i get to see and hear him everyday <3 And we chit chat everyday and update each other and such!". But that doesnt exist anymore. We can end up being in a skype with each other a whole day without hearing each others voice. Aside from that hes busy with studying and game...
Is probably because im listening to sugar sweet music and feel like sharing love to my dear boyfriend but he happens to only response with barely a smile.. And the sugar sweet feeling just drop down in a instance.. Thats probably why im being like this? I miss the sweet fluffy lovey dovey dating feeling. Looking at his face over the cam staring all over the screen and his game and such is not sweet at all.. Is not enough for me. And for today at least. I could as good as saying it feels like im totally single. Boyfriend? What's that?
Aish...